there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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