One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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