the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He better not be in your backpack
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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