I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
