I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
