I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
