so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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