What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
