Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
