Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
