Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize