My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
