I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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