32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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