all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
