They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
