She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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