Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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