Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
