I cockslap morals
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
