If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
