I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I've blown a few things in my day
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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