so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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