dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
