Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize