I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize