yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
