Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
