Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
