That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
