Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just cut my nipple shaving
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
A+ Viking dick
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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