I'm so fucking centered right now
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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