Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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