Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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