Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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