I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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