i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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