I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
