I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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