It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
