How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
