he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
