I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
