she was so not down for the gang bang
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
MIDGETS
????
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
