im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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