so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
