My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
