its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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