Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
