I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
