When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
is it fun? or sober?
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