you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
