I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
