Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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