AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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