Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
