She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
