OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
