No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
