Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
