forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
