I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
