I just made out with a guy for $7.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
