the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize