I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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